I'M NOT GIVING UP ON YOU, LEX
by LanaaLuthor
Summary: futurefic; oneshot. Lex doesn't remember anything, Lana visits him and wants to help him, but she has to risk it all...


**It's rather weird that while being Lexana fan I have never written anything about those two. Well, this is my one shot for them.**

**There is also a video, link in my profile**

* * *

Lex Luthor was sitting in his new penthouse in Metropolis over a glass of scotch, thinking or… maybe the right words would be – trying to remember.

The frustration was making him want to throw that glass against the wall where it would shatter on million pieces. Still, I wouldn't make a difference, he would still be angry, raged, maybe even more than now.

There was no coming back. Whoever had done this to him, whatever had happened, he couldn't change that. He would stay that way forever.

His scientists managed to figure out what caused him the memory lost, but the lab where Lex had once created that substance was now destroyed.

Somebody really covered up his tracks and made sure he would never find a cure.

Suddenly, the door opened.

"I said I was not to be disturbed," he spoke without even looking at the intruder. It must be one of his new employees that hadn't learnt yet. Maybe losing their job would do the trick?

"Hello, Lex," he heard a woman's voice. "It's been a long time."

He stilled. He didn't recognize that voice, but if that person knew him then he could find out something about himself that he couldn't read from the archive papers.

He put the glass back on the table and slowly stood up, turning to her.

"Lana Lang," he said to his astonishment.

"I see you've done your homework," she said, slightly smiling, but it was more a nostalgic and painful smile.

"You were my wife," he told her.

"Yes, I was… I'm sorry for what happened to you, Lex." She was looking at him… differently, nobody had looked at him like that since he remembered… what meant since the moment he'd lost his memories. Then, it hit him. It was the look of affection. Nobody cared about him, but she seemed to. Why? Weren't they divorced?

"I tried to run, but I can't anymore," she continued. "When I found out that you were back… I can save you, Lex, I can give you a second chance at life. I can give you something that Lionel never did."

He didn't understand much of that speech, but he did recall the name.

"My father?" he asked.

"Yes, your father."

"You didn't love me," he suddenly told her.

"And what makes you think that?"

"You left. That's a reason enough. And you seemed to always prefer that other guy… Clark Kent."

"I know that you will probably not understand a lot of what I'm going to tell you, but please, listen."

"Sit," he showed her a chair right next to his. "I'm listening. After all, I always appreciate any blast from the past that can tell me more than old newspapers."

They sat down and Lana started playing with her fingers.

"You're nervous," he noticed.

"Yeah…" she looked up, into his eyes. "I had a lot of time to think, a lot of time to mature enough to understand…"

"Understand what?" he prompted. He couldn't not notice how he reacted to her. He didn't really know her, not in his mind, those memories were gone, maybe even forever, but somehow he felt some deep connection to her, he yearned for her. She certainly made as exact impression on him as she'd done in the past, after all, he'd married her.

"I can't be alone anymore," she suddenly said, "it's been enough… enough pain in my life. I've finally admitted the truth, Lex, we are the same. We were always the same. That was the reason you understood me better than Clark ever had and… you saw every side of me, even the darkest one which I had to hide from Clark… I once told you that I loved you both and it was the truth. I finally get it… Clark and I were never meant to be," she sighed and continued, "you were the one who satisfied me more… to be honest… you knew me, you showed me what pleasure could really mean, you showed me passion… I remember that when we were to go to bed for the first time… you told me that you were not Clark Kent and you were right. You made me alive, made me on fire, with you I've experienced so much much more…"

"Why are you telling me this?" He shifted in his sit, feeling rather uncomfortable. He didn't want his body responding to her right now. He wanted to find out something concrete about their past.

"I know I'm making you uncomfortable," she admitted, looking aside, "but I have to tell you all of this… My love for Clark was unchangeable, stagnate, we started arguing, couldn't move on, forget about the past and see how we've changed… Clark, at some point, stopped really seeing me and knowing me… you never have. Our relationship was dark and dangerous, you hurt me once… so badly… you deceived me… but I understand it's because you were afraid of losing me. No one has ever taught you how to love, how to take care of the one you love, your father has only taught you power, told you that true feelings were your weaknesses."

"You know…" he said, "it's strange, because I don't remember it, but I feel it. I feel the need to be powerful, the need to not break…"

"Some things are just imprinted into who you are and have nothing to do with your memories," she said. "But… to finally stop talking about Clark Kent… that was a childish fantasy, it wasn't a mature relationship."

"I don't understand what you want from me…. Lana…" he hesitated before he'd said her name, but he wasn't calling her miss Lang, that would be just stupid now.

"I'm here now, because I'm not giving up on you, Lex," she said, looking back into his eyes. "I can't be alone anymore. I may be a little selfish right now, but I'm sick of sacrifices. That is all that I'm doing my whole life. Just… keep sacrificing myself, my happiness for others, for the world."

"So, let me get this straight… you want to come back to me although I have no idea who you are?" Lex suddenly asked what made her laugh.

"No, of course not. At least not like that. I hope I'm doing the right thing. I have to succeed, otherwise I will never forgive myself." She stood up and fished something out of her bag. "Take it." She handed him a small phial with something greenish inside. "Drink it before you go to sleep tonight," she told him, "you will dream about your past. You will remember what is important for you."

"I don't… don't understand… how…" He looked at her in shock.

"I'm not promising that everything will come back, but a huge part should. You told me once that I was the only thing you were living for. Let's find out if that was the truth. If it was, you will remember me. "

"But… how…"

"I have a power suit on myself right now, a suit that gives me special… abilities. I've been using it for the last couple of years to help people. I'll be keep doing that, but… I can't be all alone anymore, I can't do only this for the rest of my life. I need somebody by my side, I need… you, Lex… Years ago… you would probably never believed me that I do, but now… maybe we can have a second chance… the suit was put on me in the very same lab that you created the substance that took away your memories and my scientist managed to create kind of an antidote. Let's hope it'll work, because otherwise you will have to forget about this conversation."

"Is there… more?" he asked while finally taking it.

"Ah, you, Luthors, so greedy," she said, laughing and reached for her bag, then walked to the door. "No, there is no more. Everything else, all the research is destroyed now."

"When will you contact me again?"

"If you need me… meet me tomorrow at midday, in Smallville, the place when we started our lives together. You will know. I hope you'll come. You need somebody to pick you up, somebody to show you the right path, you still can be a good person, just let me show you the world from completely different angle. Let me give you that second chance, Lex. You don't have to be alone anymore. I love you. " After those words she just walked out of the room

* * *

He laid down and looked at the phial. What the hell? He had nothing to lose.

He gulped it down.

* * *

It was almost twelve…

Lana was walking from one side of the study to the other, or the ruins, because it was all that was left from the mansion now.

Ruins to rot.

She looked down on her watch. Past twelve.

_Clark will kill me! _She sighed deeply, trying to calm herself down.

If the most important thing in Lex's life was uncovering the truth of Clark Kent and defeating him… then she would be doomed, they would all be doomed.

Ten past…

Too late, he wouldn't come, she failed.

She took her bag and turned to the exit…

…only to see him there.

"Lex…" he face lightened up in a smile. "Lex… you came…" she restrained the urge to throw herself in his arms. She'd wanted to do that since the last night, but known it would make him feel uncomfortable. She really did need him. But not the monster, she needed the Lex she'd once seen there, the good part of his, still, she accepted the dark one as well as he'd accepted hers when she'd faked her own death.

"I came," he said, looking at her in a way she couldn't quite decipher. "You know, I remembered how perfect our lives could be… only the tragedy stoke at the end and you left me alone…"

"I won't do that anymore."

"That life… it was a life I didn't choose…" he continued, making his way slowly to her.

"I don't understand…" she admitted, studying his face.

"I want this. This time it will be different. There is no my father who would ruin us."

"No, there is not."

He finally stood right by her. So close that she could feel his breath on her cheek.

"I want you," he said, "if only this time…"

"…I won't leave," she finished after him. "I promise."

"So, you don't love Clark anymore?"

"Like I said, it wasn't meant to be."

"Everybody was always lying to me. Everybody… except you… you were always dead honest. You even told me once I wasn't capable of love."

"It was what I thought back there. The hatred consumed you and you didn't see anything else. You just saw everything like something that you can own."

"Teach me," he whispered, rising his hand to her face and touching her cheek.

"Teach you what?"

"How to love." He bent down and finally captured her lips. "Because you're the only one that I'm living for," he added, his lips moving over hers and then kissing her again. "And I have only you now."

"Likewise…"


End file.
